I'm Still The Outsider

Remember before I told you that I'm like the one that doesn't really seem like I fit in with my group of bestfriends? Well yet again it's true. They all have boyfriends, they all know what they're doing with they're life, they're all "fit", they all gt those looks. And me? I don't have/know/get any of that. I don't have a boyfriend. I don't even know what it's like to have one since I've never had one. I don know what it feels like to have someone else care about you like that. And it hurts and sucks to know this. O don't know what I'm doing with my life. I'm not "fit". I don't get those looks from other guys. And I know that guys don't think of me like that. I just wanna know what it's like to have a boyfriend. I've never had one and I'm ready for one. I'm came really close before and I blew it. And most recently, he's just doesn't feel he same way. It just feels like all of my friends are growing up an doing things I'll never get to experience because I don have hose things. It just sucks and I'm done with it.


Comment.

Ugh. That's All I Gotta Say.

So yeah I'm back. Complaining about my freakin life. So lately I was problemed with odd ones out. Ya know the odd one in the group. Well my friend was complaining that she feels like the odd one out because no one in our group wants anything to do with her which is NOT TRUE. Just because she has a boyfriend and the guys in the group don't cuddle with her doesn't make her the odd one out. She just doesn't see that. Besides the whole cuddling thing shouldn't be happening to begin with. Anyway, if anyone one should seem like the odd one out it's me. There's a group of four of us, and everyone else in the group besides me is skinny, pretty, and has/have had a relationship/has someone interested in them. Me on the other hand is not the prettiest, not skinny at all, and I've never had a freakin boyfriend. I hate it. I'm the freakin odd one out. It doesn't seem that way to anybody else cause we all love each other the same but I see that way. Here's an example. One day over the summer we went to an amusement park with a water park inside. We went to the water park and everyone walked around in their swimsuits and I had my shirt on. Guess who got all the freakin looks from guys? They did. Not me. And even when they had their clothes on they still got all of the looks from guys and it sucks. I honestly can't say I experienced that and I really want to. Man, this freakin sucks. A lot. But there's nothing I can do about it now, except lose those extra pounds, but it's freakin harder than it looks. I really do hate it.

You know I was originally gonna post something about that boy but I decided to do something different that has been bugging me for a while. But I'll post something anyway. I'm kinda starting to think that he likes my best friend, who's in a relationship. She's like perfect in every freakin way and I wouldn't be surprised if he likes her. I just wish I knew. And I wouldn't be surprised if she liked him back. I've seen them two together and I really wouldn't be surprised. Freakin ugh. But one thing is for sure, I'm not gonna change myself for a guy. Went down that road and sure as hell not going back. No thanks bud. Anyway yeah just freakin ugh.

Freakin comment.

First Freakin Post

Ok so I haven't blogged in a while, so I decided to start a new one. Talking about my freakin life. Ok so what's new is that I'm really interested in this guy and mind you I'm 17, so yeah it's a high school crush, but anyway I really like this guy. I've like him for a really long time now and what I figure is that if he liked me back, he'd do something by now, which he freakin hasn't. So a couple nights ago he called me because he was bored and we talked for about an hour and I was like 'Oh maybe there's some freakin hope!'. Since then he hasn't done anything and we haven't talked. I really like him, but at this point I'm like I don't freakin care anymore. I texted him last night and no reply. This has happened quite a few times, so I'm done trying. If he likes me, he can try. But as for now I'm done. I'll move on some other freakin guy that's probably better. Lol.


And you people that read this are probably like, "I really don't care about your problems." Well people that's what this is for. Freakin comment.